The Fibromyalgia Translation Service

Lucky you!  I'm here to offer you a service today, a translation service.  For the past six years, I've been living on my own.  I never really had to spend more than 6-8 hours with any one person on a regular basis (except for some trips), so I never realized that my interpretation of normal words isn't normal.  I mean, my dogs have done a great job knowing what I mean!  If the dogs can figure it out, I never thought that maybe other people would have trouble.

Ahh, but now I'm living with Kyle.  It's been great!  I can't believe how easy it's been to live with him after so long alone.  But I'm starting to realize that his normal and my normal are very different things.  Simple phrases like "I'm okay" or "I feel good today" are interpreted very differently.  So that's why it's your lucky day.  I'm here to translate for you.  You may want to take notes.

"I feel good today"

• I got more than four hours of sleep.
• I could work an eight-hour day without having to take pain medicine, and be able to come home and rest on the couch with the hope that tomorrow might also be "good." (Did you notice the couch time?  I do love me some couch time!)
• I can probably do somewhere between 45 minutes to 1.5 hours of aerobic exercise (followed by some time on the couch, of course)
• I have likely showered and brushed my teeth today.  Congratulations would be appreciated.
• I can walk without limping.  You likely didn't notice this.  You think it's normal.
• NOT I'm ready to go on a four-hour bike ride with you.
• NOT I can cook dinner, run errands and clean the house.  Are you crazy?

"I'm okay"

• I'm likely in an amount of pain that would cause you to be very whiny, but if I whined every time I felt like this, you wouldn't be my friend any more
• I would do well to be in a reclining position for the remainder of the day/night
• After some pain meds, I'd be willing to carry on a conversation with you, but right now I'd rather wait for them to start working
• I might be walking with a bit of a limp, but I can still get around.  Just think of this as your chance to stroll.  I can probably keep up with a casual stroll.
• This is not a good time to get frisky
• Get near me at your own risk.  I probably brushed my teeth, but likely haven't showered (it requires standing for more than two minutes)

"I don't feel well"

• My pain is likely above a seven on a 1 to 10 scale.  Don't ever accuse me of a low pain tolerance.  I'm still not whining.
• There's a strong chance I got less than two hours of sleep.  Of course, if you happen to live with me, you might have also gotten less than two hours of sleep.  Sorry!
• You likely don't want to try to talk to me because I'll probably be bitchy and/or grumpy and/or mean.  It will be directed at you but you won't have deserved it.  You've been warned.
• I have lots of drugs in my system and feel none of those wonderful side-effects that are the reason people get addicted to these drugs...they just take the edge off for me.  Talk about not fair!

It's hard for me to remember a time where I wasn't in pain.  It's just part of my life.  I've learned to deal with it and sometimes even accept it as my lot in life.  Sometimes, I'll get mad at my body, but the last thing I ever want is for you to feel sorry for me.  However, understanding my language is a great way to be supportive!